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A Short Comparative Guide To Religion and Philosophy:  

Taoism: Shit happens!  
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens!"  
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough!  
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit!.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays...
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?  
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening!.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.  
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.  
Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else.  
Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.  
Hare Krishna: Shit happens -- rama rama.  
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?  
Jehovah's Witness: Invite me into your home, and I'll tell you why shit happens!  
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.  
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.  
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?  
Atheism: No shit!
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
 

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