Taoism: Shit happens!  

Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens!"  

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough!  

Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit!.

Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays...

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?  

Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening!.

Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.  

Stoicism: This shit is good for me.  

Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else.  

Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.  

Hare Krishna: Shit happens -- rama rama.  

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?  

Jehovah's Witness: Invite me into your home, and I'll tell you why shit happens!  

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.  

Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.  

Existentialism: What is shit anyway?  

Atheism: No shit!
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!  

Anonymous