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The Ancient Fear
short excerpt from To a Dancing God written by
Sam Keen (buy it at Amazon.com)

"My ancient fear came again last night to pay its monthly visit... Although it comes less often than it once did - I have come to expect its dreadful face... Still I tremble, tensing my forehead and chest, as if to shutter my house against the danger, in the vain hope that it will pass me by... But fear is drawn to tension, like vultures to decay...

So this time - I decided to take the initiative - to yield to the fear, to journey deeply into its interior, and to find its dark secret.

I imagined a door labeled FEAR in a stone wall. I opened the door and went through into the darkness beyond. The blackness was profound - a moist, throbbing vault. I gave myself to the pulsating darkness, and the rhythm gradually became clear. The night was filled with crying. I gasped for breath as each sob jarred me.

As the world-sorrow inhabited me with each lengthening cycle of sobbing - I came to the bottom of the darkness. The rock on which fear rests, the root of the terror is - ABANDONMENT.

I was alone in the unanswering, unlimited darkness - naked and helpless in the void. My stomach knotted, whirled, and then gradually came to rest. The tension began to subside... I then went back up through the darkness, came back to the place from which I had entered... and left the door in the wall called fear..."

(return to Saturn)