It happens all the time… maybe it's at a party... a ball game... the
grocery store or the post office… out of the corner of your eye you
notice a certain someone across a crowded room… They've definitely caught
your eye, and you're not quite sure why… and it feels strangely exhilarating
and vaguely uncomfortable...
Rhyme or Reason
There's no rhyme or reason, but there's definitely something "interesting"
about that person… There's an undefinable quality that appears to draw
you in and attract you to that person... and upon closer examination,
you realize this felt "connection" somehow extends far beyond
good looks or mere physical attraction...
And while you're pretty sure you've never seen them before - they
still seem so very, very familiar… and they seem so very attractive.
Perhaps, no words are exchanged (since you're happily married and have
four kids at home)… So you momentarily, silently muse: "What was it
about that person?" And then you happily go on with your life.
perhaps (if you're not happily married with four kids at home), a conversation
is somehow started... Perhaps the attraction instantly withers and wanes.
And then you silently mutter to yourself, "Just what in the hell was
that all about?" Or perhaps, a conversation is started... and then,
whether you know it or not, you've just encountered someone who'll possibly
take you on "the roller coaster ride of your life!"
A Family Affair
Popular author/marriage therapist, Harville Hendrix, chalks up this
sort of instant attraction to an unconscious recognition of your childhood
family issues in that other person. According to Hendrix, in all of
our romantic entanglements as grown adults – we're simply continuing
on with the working through of dysfunctional childhood issues we experienced
growing up in our dysfunctional families. We've somehow unconsciously
"recognized" all our "Mom and Dad stuff" cleverly disguised as
a fascinating, alluring stranger.
more years than I care to admit, I stubbornly refused to give any credence
to Hendrix's theory of romantic attraction. (And I still don't buy it
all.) But astrology and the concept of "shared affinities" at least
partially confirm his theory.
while the concept of "shared affinities" was not specifically
what Dr Carl G Jung was referring to when concluding there was a case
by case astrological connection between the individual needs (complexes)
of one person and who that person ends up falling in love with... it
(Where Synastry Comparisons and Composites Leave Off)
you ever compared the charts of two romantic lovers – and, in the end,
you were stymied, stumped and basically bewildered as to what the attraction
between the two people might be? Then look for "shared" affinities
in the birth chart. Shared affinities say: "Don't I Know You?" Shared
affinities say: "We've been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"
Okay... Here's an example of an "affinity"... the Sun
in Aquarius is similar in energy to the Sun in aspect to Uranus. Both
of which are similar in energy to the Sun placed in the 11th house.
it, they're also similar to Uranus in Leo and Uranus in the 5th house.
astrologers go as far as using the formula:
in Aquarius = Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House = Uranus
in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house.
I don't take it quite that far - the energies (and resulting life task
issues) are most definitely similar. And for simplicity sake – I'll
be using this formula in subsequent examples.
And Me Against the World
If two people share one of these affinities (similar energies)
– the "shared affinity" says that these two people have experienced
and are working through some of the same core, life task issues. And
that's the bond! Shared affinities shout out: "Hey! I know you! We've
been dealing with the same "stuff" all our lives…"
of shared affinity:
A. Sun in Aquarius = Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House
= Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house
Moon in Aquarius = Moon aspect Uranus = Moon in the 11th House = Uranus
in Cancer = Uranus in the 4th house
Exciting, but Tough Stuff
And while all shared affinities appear to have some validity in
mutual attraction…. Shared affinities involving the Sun, Moon, Venus,
and Mars aspecting the transpersonal planets of Uranus, Neptune, and
Pluto appear to be the most earth-moving, shattering, difficult, compulsive,
transformative, and exciting affinities. (i.e. They have the old "Yee
Haw," "Ooh baby, Ooh baby" effect!)
independence, freedom, excitement
transcendental love, one with the cosmos
passion, desire, control
Let's mix it up a little:
A. Sun in Scorpio = Sun aspect Pluto = Sun in the 8th House = Pluto
in Leo = Pluto in the 5th house
Moon in Scorpio = Moon aspect Pluto = Moon in the 8th House = Pluto
in Cancer = Pluto in (or conjunct) the 4th house
Venus in Scorpio = Venus aspect Pluto = Venus in the 8th House = Pluto
in Taurus or Libra = Pluto in the 2nd or 7th house
Mercury in Scorpio = Mercury aspect Pluto = Mercury in the 3rd or 6th
House = Pluto in Gemini or Virgo
Sun in Aquarius = Sun aspect Uranus = Sun in the 11th House =
Uranus in Leo = Uranus in the 5th house
Scorpio Sun, Sun squared Pluto, Pluto in Leo
Moon in the 8th house
Moon squared Pluto, Pluto conjuncting the 4th house (from the
Venus in 8th House, Pluto in the 7th house
Venus in Scorpio
Mercury in Scorpio, Mercury sextile Pluto, Pluto in Virgo
Mercury in Scorpio, Pluto in the 3rd House
Sun square Uranus, Uranus in Leo
Sun trine Uranus
guesses on the dynamics and life tasks contained in this relationship?
(And the first two guesses don't count...)
That's about it! Sorry, but I'm not going to lay down any hard and fast
rules or formulas for you to follow (and don't bother emailing me for
any further rules and/or regulations). Play with it. See what works
(or doesn't work) for yourself….
to the Deep)